


Try to Hide

by radicalace



Category: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
Genre: Gen, Natalie-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 21:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3425606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radicalace/pseuds/radicalace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Breath ragged, eyes popping open, the room seems to spin as the darkness in her closet closes in on her. The taunting voice grows louder and louder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Try to Hide

“Diana stop. This can’t go on, you know that. Now please, let’s clear the table.”

Natalie tightened her grip on the edge of the kitchen entrance, a scowl forming on her chapped lips. _Not again_. Of course _this is what I come home to_. _This is what I get, to even_ think _they would remember my birthday...12 years old today and just as stupid as last year_. She’s startled out of her thoughts by the clattering of forks and knives against porcelain plates. Natalie turns her head, quiets her breathing as she strains to hear her parents’ conversation.

“Tomorrow we’re going to the clinic. This has been going on for too long and..Di I love you, but you have to let him go.” Natalie cannot make out what her mom is saying. “No..no Diana! Those memories of yours aren’t real! This table, our home, _me_ ,” she takes a peek into the kitchen. She sees Dad grasp Mom’s hand, placing it over his heart. “Feel that? _That_ is real. I’m right here honey, why aren’t you with me?” Oh, that is _it_.

“Thanks for remembering me Dad.” she spits out. Taking a moment to relish in the look of surprise and _guilt_ on her parents’ faces, she turns on her heel and runs from the kitchen. She sprints up the stairs, making sure to be as noisy as possible. The slam of her bedroom door leaves much to be desired.

Breath heavy, Natalie has the temptation to scream. Pulling at her hair, she squats down, squeezing her eyes shut. She lets herself slump unto her knees, arms moving from her head to wrap around herself. She swallows, keeping her tears at bay. Sniffling, her voice is quiet, shaking. She can hear the anger in her own words, ignoring the tinge of desperation attached.

“Why is she like this...why can’t she just be _normal_.”

No other girls her age needed to deal with so much crazy. Sometimes she heard Mom get up in the middle of the night, muttering nonsense while rummaging around the house. Some days she would be sitting on the armchair watching the black screen of the TV. Other days she would be doing so many tasks within a short period of time, she would pass out from exhaustion. Natalie once found her sleeping on the roof, it filled with new tiles save for the last row. There was a clay tile piece shattered at the entrance while her mom’s hand dangled off the edge. She was _ridiculous_.

Sometimes...sometimes she thought she heard Mom scolding somebody. As if there was another kid around.

Resting her chin on her knees, Natalie scoffs, disbelieving. _Come on Nat. She’s crazy but a dead sibling? Even on her manic days there’s no way she could -_

_**You sure about that sis?** _

“Who the--” she snaps her head forward, eyes on her bedroom door. Going rigid, she holds her breath, listening for her parents’ voices.

Its quiet. It’s been quiet for a while, she thinks. The light in the hallway is dim from the crack beneath her door. Her movements are slow as she takes a step forward to grasp the knob and pulls, leaving the door halfway open. Natalie tended to leave it like that in case Mom was having one of her episodes and Dad was working late. Poking her head out, she sees her parents’ room down the hallway is dark. The door is open. Turning her head in the opposite direction, the bathroom light is on but no one was inside. She takes a shaky breath, curling her fingers around the handle to anchor herself. _Don’t tell me I’m going crazy too._

_**Speak for yourself. Mom’s great, she remembered to cook my favourite dinner!** _

Natalie turns fast, slamming the door shut with her back against it, arms splayed at either side of her. She holds her breath, not daring to take her eyes off her sudden open closet. She remembers closing it before breakfast. She hasn’t touched it since getting back from piano practice. She hears a quiet giggle. _No, you’re not real. This is in my head. I can’t hear you I can’t hear you I can’t hear you!_ Shutting her eyes, she shakes her head back and forth. She exhales only to feel her breathing pick up, erratic and loud. Breath ragged, eyes popping open, the room seems to spin as the darkness in her closet closes in on her. The taunting voice grows louder and louder.

**_Poor little Nat._ **

_Shut up._

**_You’re just jealous ‘cause Mom likes me best._ **

_Shut. Up._

**_What’s the matter?_** The voice is gleeful and mocking. _**Afraid that it’s true? She’s calls me her little prince you know.**_ Natalie flinches as the voice takes on a harsh tone. **_And you’re just a peasant._** She covers her ears but she can still hear it, thoughtful and amused. _**No, more like...invisible girl.**_

“Shut up!” she bangs her closet door shut, the lock clicking in place. She backs away, wary of what might come next.

There’s a knock on the door.

“Natalie? Nat, is everything okay?” She tries to calm down her heartbeat, taking a shaking a breath before unclenching her fists. She’s about to respond. Until Natalie remembers why she came to her room in the first place. “Can I come in?” Her anger is back full force. She stomps towards her bed, getting under her blanket, hiding away from Mom. After a beat, she hears the door creak, the floorboards groaning under Mom’s steps. Natalie ignores her half hearted attempts to get her to talk. There is absolutely no way that is going to happen. She never bothered to know what was going on in her life before, why should now be any different. Just when Natalie is about to yell at her to leave her alone, she hears her mom sigh. The noise of the wooden floor grates against her ears as her mom moves away from her bed. She breathes a sigh of relief only to freezes up when she hears the floor creaking again. She shuts her eyes as she feels her mom hovering above her. Brushing away her wild curls, Mom presses her lips against her head in a soft kiss. “I hope you like it sweetheart,” she whispers.

Mom shuts off her lights before leaving. Natalie waits a beat before lifting the blanket off her body; she blinks, adjusting to the dark. She sees something on her desk glowing. Something her mom left her. Curious, she pads over, a tiny ray of hope unfurling within her. She exclaims, hushed, captivated by the flame of the three candles illuminating the cake. A smile starts to form on her lips, her whisper fragile and filled with awe.

“She remembered.” She leans closer, taking in the delicious frosting and sweet smell. Her smile is close to full blown...until she reads the message written in purple icing.

Everything happens too fast. Her face crumbles, her lips trembling when an anguished sob escapes her, wracking her body. She runs to her bed, collapsing onto the pillow while her fingers curl into it. She screams and screams and screams into the cushion. Her wails turn into quiet cries, letting her tears soak the pillow. She hears nothing but the echoes of her sobs.

The wax of the candles drip unto the message. It says **HAPPY 13TH BDAY GABE.**

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Her bedroom door didn’t have a lock, but her closet door did
> 
> Inspired by the above prompt taken from [writeworld](http://writeworld.org/). First Next to Normal piece, hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://radicalproductions.tumblr.com/)


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